Before you could decide to go on to ask a girl out, you must firstly deal with your emotional hangover ,those
emotional hangover are capable of displaying themselves in your facial expression you might not be aware of it
the psychologists call it gestures clusters,we do not always know when they are displaying.
Ever have one of those weeks when there is palpable, anger-inciting tension between you and a family member? Or you have had a crushing misunderstanding with one of your dearest friends? Or there is an incident at work that has had you mumbling obscenities under your breath and double-checking your pension benefits?
As a result of some emotionally incendiary experience where you feel wronged, not valued, misunderstood, or crossed, you can often find yourself on one wild ride of emotions.
Your feelings can spike to new highs. You can feel turbo-charged with fury. You feel the blood coursing through your veins and throbbing at your temple. You are vibrating with anger, injustice and hurt at the maddening insensitivity, sheer stupidity, or blatant passivity that has been bestowed on you. How could they?
And, before you know it, you are off again on the careening roller coaster of painful feelings--up and down, swinging widely to the left, twisting up, crisscrossing to the right, and zigzagging to a final, lurching stop. You start talking about it again and off you go, up, up and away in a fiery fury. How could they?
You spin round and round and round, until eventually you are spent. There is no more; simply the crumbling, white-ashed embers of a fire gone dead. You find yourself a rag mop. You are exhausted, drained, and totally depleted from the emotional highs and lows of your charged days. You have no energy; you feel like a truck has used your body for parallel parking practice. You are a pulverized mass of once-quivering emotions.
This, dear reader, is an emotional hangover.
There is no hair of the dog for the morning after. There is no specialized rehab. Copious amounts of water to hydrate your burned-out system are of little avail.
What's a suffering fool to do?
As with any good recovery effort, you need to acknowledge that you have a problem. Yep, this is your problem. "But they did it to me," you howl. And so they did, but, you, my friend, and only you, are responsible for your reactions.
Remember the Boy Scouts and their motto of always being prepared? That is good advice for preventing more of these emotional conflicts. Whether you stirred the pot or someone else came after you with a figurative cleaver, there is value in understanding the dynamics. Without awareness, the emotional set-to simply dissolves into a long line of yet-another debilitating incident of high drama.
So, let us armchair quarterback and deconstruct the set-ups and triggers to an emotional hangover. To that end, here are some questions and considerations for you to ponder in order to prevent another crazy ride on the high-speed emotional Tilt-a-whirl:
1. Are you too emotionally attached to the outcome of the interaction? Do you have to win? Do you need to be right?
You know the expression: would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy? I can say, and I believe, that being right is overrated, but, boy, howdy, where I feel I am right, that's Right with a capital R, it is very hard to let go and consider another viewpoint.
It takes some emotional maturity to get off that high horse and to find common ground.
2. Is the emotional event the result of a power struggle or a need for control?
There is a saying that comes from sales: the one who cares the least has the most power. In other words, the more emotionally detached you are, the more you can see the big picture, be open to alternatives and respond with reason.
3. Did you create decent boundaries and clear parameters so that you protected yourself?
One of the tenets of good self esteem is the ability to be assertive. It is not always easy, but it is clearly important. Further, one of the tenets of effective communication is being able to state your needs clearly. Are you able to ask for what you need or say no without feeling guilty?
4. Are you aware of what buttons are being pushed?
There is that old therapy joke about the patient telling the psychiatrist that his mother was pushing all of his buttons. The psychiatrist responds, of course, she installed those buttons.
Seriously, though, be it family, friends or astute observers of the human psyche, most of us can detect the soft, squishy places in one another. We are all more alike than we acknowledge. Are we feeling respected and heard? Are we being rejected or abandoned? Are we considered loveable? Are we worthy?
5. Are you willing to walk away, say no and choose not to engage in the tension?
There is always choice. Choice serves as the grace note to every interaction. You can choose to struggle, not fight, see it another way, speak your truth, state your case, agree to disagree and so forth.
There is a certain elegance in being able to disengage from drama and choosing not to play the game.
Like most experiences in life, emotional hangovers can be good teachers. You can learn how to protect yourselves for future interactions. You can train yourself to move away from the victim place by following the three A's. You can change your action. You can change your attitude. Or you can learn to accept. Automatically, you have empowered yourself. Isn't that a far better feeling than an emotional hangover?
I wanted to take a minute and tell you my
story, explain how I learned what works to attract
women... and to give you some pointers on how you
can get the most out of my different techniques,
concepts, and programs.
First, let me answer the question:
"Who Is David DeAngelo... And How Can He Help Me
Become More Successful With Women And Dating?"
I'm actually a pretty normal guy, who went
through a point where I decided that I needed to
get this part of my life called "meeting women"
handled.
I won't bore you with the details, but I was
going through a time where I had just moved to a
new city... I was single... and I had NO IDEA how
to meet women or get dates. One night I was
talking to one of my best friends and I said, "I
am going to figure this out for myself, no matter
what it takes".
Well, it wasn't exactly easy to "figure it
out". I spent the next few years reading a lot of
books, listening to "motivational tapes", going to
seminars, and generally trying out a lot of whacky
ideas that I was learning.
The real "break" came when I started meeting
and hanging out with guys that were NATURALLY good
with women.
I'm talking about guys who had figured out how
to get ANY woman on their own.
As I learned from these guys, I noticed that
they did certain things and communicated with
women in certain ways that REALLY didn't "add up".
Maybe they would make fun of an attractive
woman... but the woman would respond by laughing
and playfully hitting them on the arm.
Or they'd tell a woman that they didn't like
being treated like a sex object, and that she'd
better not try the "buy me a drink trick" just to
get a date... and they'd wind up having the woman
begging for their number.
The more I saw things that "didn't make sense"
actually WORKING with women, the more I began
thinking that I might be on the verge of
discovering something big.
To make a long story short, I made rapid
progress by learning from these "naturals", and I
took the things I learned from them... tested and
refined the ideas into a system... and put it all
together for myself.
Guys often ask me to tell them stories or give
them "field reports" about women I've dated. They
want to know if I've dated anyone famous... or
they want the exact word-for-word transcript of
every time I've approached a woman.
It's not my style to brag a lot or tell
stories, but the fact is that I have dated some
pretty amazing women over the last several years.
Yes, I've dated famous women. Yes, I've dated
models. And yes, I've dated women that would be
PERFECT in a starring role in a future "Fatal
Attraction" movie.
Be careful what you wish for!
One of the things I've realized is that dating
a supermodel isn't going to automatically change
your life and make you "happy" on the inside. In
fact, if you believe that attracting a woman will
be the answer to all of life's problems, I've got
bad news for you...
But I can also tell you that learning how to
successfully meet women anytime, day or night, in
any situation will bring you HUGE benefits.
I have now come to believe something that I
think is very important...
If you don't know how to successfully meet
women, then you're probably going to walk through
life feeling like "less than a man". It's not an
easy thing to explain to someone who doesn't "get
it", but I'll bet that you know EXACTLY what I'm
talking about.
On the other hand, if you DO know how to meet
and attract women, you're going to have an inner
confidence and "cool" that other people can sense
INSTANTLY.
Why Should You Believe That I Can Help You?
As you already know quite well, there are a lot
of people running around trying to convince you
that they have all the answers.
Well, unfortunately for you, I don't have ALL
the answers.
But I do believe that I have SOME of the
answers (and I think the answers I have are pretty
important).
The question you're probably asking is "Why
should I believe what David D. says?".
And my answer to you is that you SHOULDN'T just
blindly believe me.
In fact, I would recommend that you approach my
materials with a healthy skepticism, and a
"scientific" perspective.
I want you to TRY what you learn from me.
I think you'll find that I'm not interested in
things that don't work. I like stuff that gets
results. And BIG results, at that.
Only after you've seen that this stuff is
REAL... do I want you to "believe" me.
By the way, my materials aren't "perfect".
I've spent a lot of time trying to explain and
describe what I've learned over the years... and
to do it in a way that allows you to get results
as fast as possible.
The fact is that I'm learning and growing all
the time... and I've updated some of my programs
recently to reflect new things I've learned, new
understandings I have, and new techniques I've
developed.
I'm a person, and as a person I have my flaws.
But I also think my programs are the best in the
world, and I stand behind them. I honestly hope
you get a TON of value from them.
"Try Before You Buy"
I honestly believe that you should only have to
pay for my stuff IF IT HELPS YOU MEET WOMEN.
If it doesn't help you, then you shouldn't have
to pay... makes sense, right?
Before I tell you about my different programs,
I want to FIRST tell you that every program I sell
comes with a "Try Before You Buy" guarantee.
I will let you go through any program or book
you want, learn everything inside, and actually
TRY IT OUT in the real world BEFORE you pay me for
it.
If you don't get results IMMEDIATELY, then just
send it back to me... and I won't charge you. I'm
serious.
If you get to the point where you'd like to
invest in one of my programs, and you want to get
all the details, just go to any of the websites
where you can order the program, and it will all
be there.
I am 100% serious about this offer... it's
real. I only want you to pay me if you meet more
women.
Where Should You Start?
Once you start seeing improvement in your
success with women and dating, you're going to
naturally want to get into some of my more
"advanced" ideas.
The best place to start is with my first ebook:
"Double Your Dating". I've updated it, added some
great new material, and even added condensed
chapter summaries for you to reference anytime.
This book contains my very best thinking, and I
believe it's the best place to start... for ANY
guy who wants to learn how to attract and meet
women.
Before I tell you about my other programs, I
want to say something that might not be the best
thing for my wallet...
My best ideas are in this book. I'm serious.
You don't need to invest in my more advanced DVD
programs, or come to one of my live seminars to
get my "good stuff".
In fact, many of my best ideas are actually in
my FREE newsletters. Really.
My DVD programs and other materials are
designed to help guys who are interested in
getting a more "in-depth" education.
Think of it like fishing...
The secret to why some men get more
women than they can handle is something YOU
also possess inside of you. The only difference
between you and the "naturals" is that you haven't
developed it yet.
I thought it would be interesting to give you a
different point of view this time.
And I thought it might be helpful to take you
"behind the scenes", and show you what it's like for
a woman when she's "looking" for a man.
OK, to start with, I have something important to
tell you:
WOMEN ARE CRAZY.
I know, profound.
You can write me later and tell me how this new
revelation has changed your life.
But please calm down, collect yourself, and let
me explain.
Why do I say that women are "crazy"?
Well, BECAUSE THEY ARE, first of all. lol...
No, it's because women do something that SEEMS
crazy (especially if you're a man).
Women like to SAY ONE THING, but when the time
comes around to actually ACT, they do something
TOTALLY DIFFERENT.
I could go into an essay on why this is, but
for the purposes of this discussion, the most
important reason has to do with EMOTIONS.
Women tend to SAY what they THINK when they're
asked a question.
But they tend to ACT on their EMOTIONS when an
actual SITUATION presents itself.
Here's an example:
You meet a woman, and get her number. You call
her up. She agrees to meet you the next day for
a cup of coffee. The next day comes around, and she
doesn't show up. You call her. Something came up,
and she just couldn't make it.
Ever been there?
What happened? (And doesn't it piss you off when
women ALWAYS seem to do this? Me too.)
Well, what HAPPENED is when you were talking to
her on the phone, coffee the next day sounded fine.
But when the next day showed up, something else
that was more interesting came up, and she didn't
FEEL like meeting you anymore.
Or maybe she just decided that she DIDN'T FEEL
like meeting you when she woke up the next day.
Whatever.
But it PROBABLY had something to do with her
not FEELING the same way anymore.
Now, if you're a man, you hear something like
this and say "She lied. She said she would be there,
and she didn't show up. She's a liar."
Or you say "Women who do this lack integrity."
Or even "Women are FLAKY!"
Of course, ALL OF THESE ARE TRUE!
lol... no, no, no. Just kidding. Well, I'm not
kidding 100%, but I'm kidding.
The point that I'm trying to make here is that
when a woman says one thing, then does another, she
sees that as being perfectly OK, because she's
"just following her feelings".
But from a MAN'S point of view, if a woman says
one thing, then does another, she's either a liar,
being flaky, or doesn't have integrity.
Here's the point:
Women aren't going to change "how they feel"
about this topic anytime soon.
So us guys are basically left with two main
options in a situation like this one:
1) Keep banging our heads against the wall and
expecting women to change, and start showing up
when they say they will.
2) Learn how to make women FEEL like they want to
actually show up for the meeting, so when they
wake up the next day, they SHOW UP.
Get it?
Good.
Now let's talk about the REAL topic of this
newsletter... WHAT WOMEN LOOK FOR IN A MAN.
Of course, in my usual style, I'm going to put
an interesting twist on this concept.
I'm going to argue that women will SAY that
they "look for" one thing, but they actually
RESPOND to something completely different.
All guys know that women seem to be "naturally"
attracted to things like fame, wealth, Brad- Pitt-
handsomeness, height, etc.
But I've now realized something that is
actually pretty profound when you REALLY get it.
I now believe that women DON'T KNOW what they
are ACTUALLY responding to.
In other words, these things like money and
fame trigger EMOTIONS inside of women.
And if you're NOT rich or famous or naturally
handsome, you can get the same kinds of responses
from women if you learn how to TRIGGER THE
SAME EMOTIONS.
So, in the end, what women are REALLY "looking
for" is a man who triggers their ATTRACTION.
Of course, a woman will never SAY this to you.
If you ask a woman what she's looking for,
she'll say "I'm looking for a nice, honest guy who
is successful and cute".
But if she actually MEETS this guy, and he just
happens to be a WUSSY who acts needy and clingy,
then she's NOT going to be into him.
In this case, she won't respond to the guy that
she's "looking for" by being attracted to him. And
it won't work out.
On the other hand, if this same woman meets a
guy who ISN'T what she "thinks" that she's "looking
for", but he triggers her ATTRACTION EMOTION,
then it's all over.
It DOESN'T MATTER if he's rich or handsome,
because he's done something that TRUMPS these
things.
It has taken me a long time to actually get to
the point where I BELIEVE this at a deep level. And
the REASON I believe it is because I've never been
the type of guy that women "approach".
I have friends that are tall and handsome... and
when we go out, women start conversations with them.
Before I learned what I know now, women never
felt that powerful, GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for me
that they do for my taller, handsome friends.
But NOW, now that I know how to use my body
language and other communication to trigger the
EMOTIONS in a woman, it's COMPLETELY different.
I get responses from women that I actually
considered IMPOSSIBLE before.
And it's not because I grew 5 inches or became
more handsome.
It's because I KNOW SOMETHING that most guys
just don't know.
As you've read in these newsletters, there are
certain techniques, like being Cocky & Funny,
teasing women, never acting like a Wussy, etc. that
will help you be successful as well.
Use them. Use what you learn.
There's a BIG difference between what women are
"looking for" and what they RESPOND TO. Don't let
anyone tell you any different.
AND, if you're reading this right now, and you're
saying to yourself "OK, it's time that I stopped
wasting time screwing around, and I GOT MY BUTT IN
GEAR and learned how to meet women", then you need
to do yourself a HUGE favor.
You need to TAKE ACTION, and get yourself a copy
of my Advanced Dating Techniques program.
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